tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7534048435604700822.post1375818186859646257..comments2018-06-22T02:40:03.258-04:00Comments on livehard.lovestrong: how am I doing? Niccihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09832309727648396892noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7534048435604700822.post-75797211494183846412013-01-07T18:24:38.930-05:002013-01-07T18:24:38.930-05:00i love that you comment on my blogs! :) hulkish- i...i love that you comment on my blogs! :) hulkish- i actually have a miniplush hulky doll to smash around when i get angry. i bite him, too, when i'm having a procedure done. he keeps me from screaming, or i squeeze him really hard. a 'friend', and i use that term loosely, bought him for me, to help with the hard times. <br /><br />and no. there was no non-focus about the kids thing. i needed to say it. <br /><br />cymbalta isn't in the cards for me. it was looked at, but it's not something that's going to help me. i'm on a good med right now and i'm working my way up to the therapeutic dose so i'll be fine. <br /><br />and i know i'm going to be ok. <br /><br />and you're wrong. i really don't care. these people are just getting on my nerves. i gave up caring on them a long time ago. my heart isn't broken. <br /><br />i know that i inspire a lot of people, and that people just EXPECT me to be around. idk if it's because that's how it's always been or it's because i'm sick so i don't have a choice, but here's the kicker, i DO have a choice and i'm making the conscious choice NOT to answer messages and NOT to help, and it feels damn good to say no. :)<br /><br />you can respond to my blogs whenever you feel like it love bug, that's why there's a comment box. you can also feel free to email me whenever you want. :) i'm also on facebook. <br />xoxo nicciNiccihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09832309727648396892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7534048435604700822.post-85747207660125101012013-01-07T17:52:06.958-05:002013-01-07T17:52:06.958-05:00Sorry, i don't know if you expected all that. ...Sorry, i don't know if you expected all that. I don't even know if blogs are for writing back. You're my first. Well, if i'm not supposed to be writing all that in a blog and you would like to contact me please email me. <br /><br />If you're just venting & want me to shuuuut uuup, I know how to do that too. <br /><br />Your blog just sounds like when me or my bff are having a dilemma about something. We, kind of, spill it out and the other one helps to sort out what to do next, leave it alone, or how to process what has already happened.<br />Either way, it is nice to meet you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01647142382200349678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7534048435604700822.post-82185671640563862272013-01-07T14:47:06.732-05:002013-01-07T14:47:06.732-05:00ok. Hear and see me saying this,
"M-hmm...,m...ok. Hear and see me saying this,<br /> "M-hmm...,m-hmm...stupid walls...Hey walls! Back the fuck up!...yeah.....ok, you made it through december...thats good. Now, just hang on till sinus surgery in feb. Like, make one of those count-down link chains like in school...<br /><br />Hulkish..I wish i could throw a pillow at you right now. I just picture you with those little kid Hulk fists on...<br /><br />W T F(with an eye enlargement gesture)(about the hit the kids part).I think the Cushing's non-focus got to you for a minute there...<br />boys play pool?...yeah, steroids suck.<br /><br />And yes, YOU DO CARE."<br /><br />insert a big fat hug.<br /><br />Please elaborate on what came to your mind about the kids part, cuz that really came from the NORTH POLE. or, was it truly a cushing's moment where even you don't know where that came from.<br /><br />ok. i gotta let my subconscious think about what you said a bit, so the only thing I can say for now is:<br /><br />I had really bad aches & pains, like, my fingers, toes, clavicle, shoulders, skin, hips, etc, you know the deal. even a shower hurt. Everything hurt. Normal pain meds weren't working, they just took the edge off & made me wierd, not present, in third person. Primary doc put me on even stronger meds and of course did tests. He had done tests for arthritis, he didn't think i had arthritis, but thought that a rhuematologist would know what to do about my insanely sensitive joint pain. She prescribed me Cymbalta, which is for FIBROMYALGIA & depression. By the third dose,the pain I had been trying to stop, for about 9 months, with hardcore narcotics had subsided. The only thing is, it is expensive as hell. BUT if you go to cymbalta.com, you can get a coupon for 30 day trial for free, then, if it works, ask your doc for samples. And, because it's actually for depression, I think it gives me a little pep that i Didn't have because of Fatigue. i am functioning now. I don't know if you've tried it, but if you haven't, please check it out online & try your doc.<br /><br />ok, my subconscious has had a chance to think about your heart, while i was regurgitating cognitive stuff about your physical health. <br /><br />And guess what missy? You can say all the crap you want about not answering messages or calls of other people when they WANT something, but that's not going to happen,because, the song that you feel in your heart is created by filling other people's needs, physical & mental. You are their rock. The problem is that you are feeling hurt,in your heart, because they are not realizing that you need to feel loved too.Your heart breaks as a casualty of making them feel good. No one is acknowledging your pain. You need to be loved too. SO, Feel my hug get a blanket & at about 10:30 pm have a cup of tea with whipped cream with me. I live in St. Louis, MO and at 10:30 I have a cup of tea and watch "The Big Bang Theory" I'd make it for you, but your kinda far away. <br /><br />Its hard for YOU to write about YOU feeling good, because what MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD,is doing things FOR OTHERS(ding. ding. ding-ding-ding)<br /><br /><br />And,by the way, I'm glad you're alive, and I think you are going to be fine.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01647142382200349678noreply@blogger.com