From a text message. [9.12.17]

I was having a text conversation with someone about different writing styles and I brought up my blog. And a little piece of me kind of escaped. 

I've been going through some things this last year. With people. And it slipped out.

I really need to write a blog about what happened with the 'sister' I once had. No, not my actual sister. But the one who decided to take advantage of my family and then rip out their hearts. Because ya know, apparently that's what people do? Ya know. And I'm about to get heated and say things I shouldn't so I'm going to just let you read what's down there, take a breath and drink some coconut water. 

Btw, Goya and le fe agua de coco with pulp is freaking AMAZING! I strain the pulp out, but holy Hannah Montana Batman! This seems to be the only thing that can fix my stomach issues. Oh yeah, new dx. Yay me! 

Ok.

Here ya go.

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➡ Sounds like your blog is very positive. How long have you been doing it?

My response:

My blog is real. Is it positive? Most of the time. I just don't have time for bullshit. I call it like I see it. If I have a problem, I let you know. I don't tolerate being treated like shit. Or being taken advantage of. And if it's someone I can't talk to about it right away, I go to my private blog. The internet isn't for trash talk. Social media has turned this world into a place where bullies rule and it's not ok. I use the hashtag #TypeWithKindness a lot on twitter. Or try to at least. Our current person who lives in the White House has made it ok for people to suck. He's terrible.

I'm trying my best to develop a backbone. I have one, I'm just too nice sometimes and I care way too much. It's one of my worst character flaws. I'll break my back for people, and then I end up on the floor being stepped all over. But whatever. I'd rather help than hurt. And if people feel they need to take advantage? So be it. God put me here to show people love, and that's what I do. That's why I love social work. So many who don't feel loved, I can let them know they are.

I mean, I have a defense. I can throw walls up so high the birds can't fly over them, but I'd rather keep them down if I can.
But once they've gone up, it takes a hell of a lot to get them down.

I should just copy and paste this. Lol

Since 2010. I think. Maybe 2011.
It's not always consistent. I'd gone into a dark place and just stopped altogether. So when I did write, it was on my tablet, in a private journal. I didn't want anyone to know anything. I just wanted to be kept away from the world.

But now I'm back.
I'm here.
I'm living.
I'm alive.
I've chosen to stay.