its a great day to be alive

it's a great day to be alive. you know the sun's still shinin when i close my eyes.

i honestly can't remember the last time i've felt so good.

like... that i've been excited to be alive.

i wake up every morning and it's not like, ugh. i'm alive.

no.

it's like. IM ALIVE!!!!

i have survived the night and thank you Jesus for letting me see another day! i am so blessed to be living in this world, even though we are going through some trials and tribulations, i am so blessed to be Your daughter and I am so blessed to have woken up this morning to live to see another day, to live, to breathe, to inspire.

i may not have figured out my purpose yet, but i am going to wake up every day and be excited about figuring it out!

it hasn't been, ugh. i'm alive. another effing day to get through and deal with shitty people. who do shitty things. and try and fight my way through the darkness. through the muck. the slime. the quicksand.

i'm not crying nearly as much.

i still haven't found my patronus. but the dementors have stopped bothering me.

i'm writing again. which is  a beautiful thing.

i'm also letting things go. i'm not getting as worked up about as much. i'm learning that sometimes it's best just to keep scrolling,.

no one really knows my business unless i post it on facebook. am i sick? have i gotten a terminal diagnosis? has my vision gotten worse or better? does anyone know the answer to that?

nope. not really.

unless you're one of the few who actually take the time to have a conversation with me.

i'm also not settling.

i don't do the no respect thing.

like, i mean, why? yall know we deserve to be respected right? we aren't pieces of garbage, right?

i hope if you're reading this you know how important you are, that you're worth it and that you're enough. you're wonderful, you're beautiful and you should never settle for second best. ever.

oh. and sidenote.

i'm watching my girl. after every first kiss, from now on, we shouyld recite the pledge of allegiance. that's just the way it should be. from now until the end of time.

and if you don't understand why this happens, then either you're too young, or just not educated enough.

and now thomas jay is going to get stung by the bees and my life is gong to be changed. again. so the tears are going to start falling and here goes the end of my happy day.

damn those bees.

i'm going to have a separate post about death and heartache next month.

but back to the amazingness that it YOU. that is US.

i know how hard life is. life is one of the most difficult things to survive.
and our demons? the dragons? the dementors? they are so hard to fight sometimes. it would be so much easier to give up.

and when you're fighting an illness, forget it. especially when there is no end in sight. you get tired of being sick. tired of being tired. tired of the pain. tired of losing the ones in your support system (because they gave up their fight or their illness got to them first), or your friends and family got tired of your fight and left you.

being sick is not an easy task.

none of this is.

depression is hard. being sick is hard. having an illness: emotional of physical is hard.

but that just means we need to be stronger. fight harder.

be dragged into the muck and the slime and the darkness and look for the vine, the tree branch, the sunshine and pull ourselves out of it because no one will pull opurselves out of it.

this is a battle that we must fight on our own.

it's one of the shitties things at could ever happen to any of us.

but it's ours.

we can win.

together.

people need other people.

on october 2, 8 days from now, i'm leading  a team for the Out of The Darkness walk for the Association For Sucide Prevention.

All of the funds raised from this walk will go toward putting suicide prevention programs into schools.

We can raise funds until December. I have $175 left to go for my personal goal. Our team has about $300 left.

Would you mind helping us raise that money to get us to where we need to be?

here's the link:

http://afsp.donordrive.com/participant/NicoleVelardi

If every person who reads my blog, or every insta follower I have, every twitter follower, every facebook friend, donates just ONE DOLLAR, we would have our goal met and then some!!

We all have no problem donating to a cause for someone to get a vacation, or new tires, or fake breasts, but when it comes to sucide prevention, people just turn their heads.

Please don't be that person.

I have been sharing my story with you for 5 years now. We're like family.

Please donate at least $1.

help me help others.

we can all make a difference.