so, this disease sucks. you gain weight for no apparent reason (btwn 60-80lbs in like 2 months), you work out like a nut but that doesnt help, your hair thins, you lose your hair, you develop stria, you have fat pads, you look pregnant, your muscles start to deteriorate, your skin thins, you itch all the time from the cortisol, it's harder to do anything because you're so tired all the time, you become depressed, you have crazy mood swings, you feel like crap most of the time... and there are days that you hate yourself and want to end it all. and? you start to hate the way you look.
that was my big thing, well, still kind of is. some days i just look in the mirror and want to break it. i dont look like i used to. some days its really hard to push through, but i do. how? i dont know. some days i just cry and cry and cry, other days i force myself to laugh and smile. it sucks, but it's doable.
so right, beauty things.
Jergens Moisturizing Body lotion/ self tanner. It gives your skin a natural glow, without leaving orange streaks. Since we cushies cant be in the sun for too long, it's nice to not look so pale, plus it helps cover some of the stria.
Avons moisturizing lotion: for those who dont care about the tan. it's fabulous and calms the skin, unscented and doesn't leave a rash.
Triamcinolone cream. I got this from my dermatologist, it helps with the breakouts/rash while moisturizing. It also helps to relieve the itching.
Mary Kay has a timewise facial cleanser, moisturizer and day and night cream. Fabulous stuff. My skin feels incredible. Since our skin is so sensitive and delicate, it helps to keep me look refreshed.
HAIR LOSS: this is a big one. our hair thins and falls out, one of my biggest fears for after radiation was that I was going to lose it all. my mom bought me nioxin, it helps with hair growth, and it's working! so far so good.
dry scalp: from the radiation my scalp was dry and itchy. it drove me bonkers. i was afraid to touch my head bc i didnt want to risk pulling my hair out. so, im flipping through my moms womens world and it tells me to mash up two asprin and mix them into my shampoo... i havent itched since! and my scalp is alot calmer... who knew?!
the bump it: i know... i thought they were pretty lame too... but... i can't cut or dye my hair and it's not working for me... so i caved. bought the generic at the dollar store and it works! you couldn't even tell i had something on my head! i went to a friends wedding and actually FELT pretty, something i havent felt in months. it was a good feeling.
aloe juice- pour a shot of that into juice or soda or whatever you want... it helps with the itching!
painting. just something i started to do. it helps occupy my time, and i feel accomplished. im not too good, but im working on it. this whole having to relearn everything sucks.
when i say relearning i mean: walking, talking, focusing, writing, reading... it's hard... but im doing it.
i guess those are all my fun things for the day, hope it helps!
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