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Thursday, May 30, 2013

hmm...

i feel like i should blog today, but i really don't know what to say, but i'm good at randomness and not shutting up so... i'm sure i can find something :)

i woke up in a really bad mood. probably because of the dream i had. it wasn't a good one. it was about a friend abusing a kid. and probably bc the kid's been abused before and i worry about him. so i woke up ready to punch someone in the face. but i'm having a really good hair day. i have beach curls because i didn't blow it out, i just let it dry and i had pt today and that went well. the swelling went down in my ankle a little. it doesn't hurt so much to walk on it, so that's a plus. and i had some chocolate and i talked to my twinny so things are starting to look up.

i spent the weekend with the wifey, which always makes me feel better. i didn't get to spend as much time as i would have liked to there because i wasn't feeling well, but she understood. she's always so understanding. her and her hubs are the best. we had italian food, i got to be in a parade with her, we went to 3 bbqs, we had Sunday dinner with her folks, aside from me getting cushingy, it was great and much needed. we drank. we giggled ALOT... THE BEST! and? she's taking me and my mom to meet my specialist in july. i'm telling you. she's perfect. and a few days after that we're going to medieval times. holla! and my best guy is going to try and come with us. what a crazy weekend that will be! the four of us? oh lawdy lawdy!

friday i spent the DAY AND NIGHT with my best guy. we saw epic. we went back to my house and hung out. he met my sisters puppy. i was surprised with a gift from the popcorn factory from my aunt and uncle. then we went to dinner and then we went and saw hangover 3- which wasn't that great. and then we sat in my car for an hour and a half and talked. and i cried a little bit because i talked about some really emotional things that i'd been bottling up. but it was a GREAT day.

thursday my baby brother graduated college! i'm so proud of him. he did so well. he's really proud of himself, as he should be! we took a really nice family picture, too. not in his cap and gown of course, because the dope took it off and returned it before we got the chance! *sigh* boys. eh well. what can ya do?

so... that was my weekend. and i've been feeling craptastic. OH! i had my food stamps appeal hearing. what's that you ask? well, they decreased my fs because i'm on disability and they cut my medicaid. so, i wanted to appeal it bc i didn't think that was right. i knew nothing was really going to change, but i wanted my voice heard. someone needs to speak for the disabled, bc to get fs now, you have to be knocked up or have kids. if you're sick or old it doesn't matter and that's not right. old people need help. sick people need help. i need help. so, i opened my mouth. when they did my calculations, i'm actually due more than i'm getting, but my caseworker sucks and when i submitted the paperwork, she never entered it into the computer! THIS IS WHY I SPEAK UP! ugh. ANYWAYYYY... turns out, i'm eligible for the state to pay for my medicare deductible, too! soo... i'm being sent paperwork to fill out so they can do that, AND i'll get back pay because AGAIN my caseworker didn't give me the forms to fill out when i had asked her about it MONTHS ago! so, i could either accept less fs and take the medicare payout or take a bit more fs... i think we know which i'm taking! i'd rather have my healthcare paid for and i'll just stick with what i'm getting. at least my voice was heard. that's what i really wanted. talk about good news!
AND THENNNNN...
my mom bugged me to check my email to see if my dr sent me anything. i didn't want to. so she checked hers bc she emailed him about how terrible i've been feeling and how much worse i'd been getting. bc i've been getting worse, i just haven't been talking about it. i've been sleeping more, my muscles are weaker. i've been falling. my headaches are coming back with a vengeance. i'm having crying spells. fits of rage. a rounder face. my clothes aren't fitting right. i'm getting dizzy while laying down. dizzy standing up. not sleeping at night. hot flashes. freezing. stomach pains. you name it, i got it. it's like i just had surgery. so, i checked my email. and sure enough, my salivary tests came back high! i knew they would. i don't know how high they came back, but they were high enough to bother him to say, you definitely have cushings and i want you back on your medication. THANK FREAKING GOD! i can't even begin to tell you how happy i am to 1. be rediagnosed and 2. be back on my meds! i know they're not going to work right away, but at least i'm going to see SOME relief at some point! cheese and rice THERE IS SUNSHINE TO MY DARK SKIES!!! just had to be patient. and patient i have been. bitchy, but patient :)
i am kinda bummed because i couldn't even go to therapy because i felt so awful. i'm really over feeling so terrible. i'd like to see my therapist again. i really would. she's so awesome, she said that she'd see me spontaneously. all i have to do is text her on a day i'm feeling good and she'll work with me. how awesome is she?

i'm going to a concert tomorrow with bina. my lovey got us tickets to summer smash so we're gonna see carly rae jepsen, 3OH!3, emblem 3 and cher lloyd. do i know these people? nope. well, i know who the first two are. kind of. but it should be fun. i love concerts. and i love my bina. and i love my girl who got me these tickets. it's gonna cheer me up. and i think i can convince bina to go for fume for dinna. that'll be nice.

hmm... what else... this blog is probably boring you. but whatever

i'm glad adam levine doesn't really hate america. and i'm glad judith hill got voted off the voice. i'm sorry. but she sang back up for michael jackson. she has a career. leave. give it to someone else!

speaking of adam levine... maroon 5 and kelly clarkson in september! woot woot!

apparently i'm pretty awesome. some girl, well, she's my friend now, found me on twitter and she's from the UK and she's struggling with possibly having cushings and getting a diagnosis. we've become good buddies and i'm helping her fight to stay above water and to keep going. it's a bitch this disease, it really is. but i've made some incredible friends along the way and i wouldn't trade them for the world. i have my dawniekins who i can go to at any time of day with anything and she's there for me no matter what. she sometimes knows things before twinny does. but twinny always finds out. i usually text them at the same time, lol. but she's super amazing and i'm so grateful that i got flown to san fran last year and got to meet her. and then there's bernadette, whom i also met in san fran, who apparently grew up 20 minutes away from me. granted, she's older than me and went to my RIVAL school district, freaking bear, but we've become really close, too and i love it. she gives me good cushie advice and she's living in florida now, but she's going to be moving back up here and i'm gonna have a cushiesis HERE! how awesome is that?! and then there's my stevie. my lovely, lovely stevie. whom i adore so so much and i just want to wrap my arms around and hug the crap outta her! she's so cute and sweet and don't piss her off because she'll stomp on you. we've had some of the same symptoms. so we can share the journey. i think she's cured though, she just has the recurrence of symptoms, because it takes 7 years for a FULL on cure. lovely right? and then there's my instagram crew- Rachel and Jerry and Alicia. They're awesome and we're all supporting each other as much as we can. It's a good time. This disease is evil but we're making it together. We hold each other up and fight. we get pissed off together, get mad at each others doctors, suggest things to ask the doctors, give each other advice, it's good. i like having a support system. i mean, my friends here are great, but they don't get it. and part of me is glad that they don't because i wouldn't wish this on anyone.

haha. sisterwives for hanson. i love my lissa. she's crazy.

they're closing down my elementary school. that's depressing. the school board says they don't have the money to keep it open. i loved that school. the district is goin to crap though. at least that's what i'm hearing. it makes me sad. but, what can ya do? i heard that one guy stood up to the other board members, a really stand up guy, too. he's always been awesome so, that made me happy.

i think now i'm just talking just to talk. so... i'll end with this.

this is my beautiful family at my brother's graduation. and yeah, that's my awesome boot for my sprained ankle. i tried out the aircast today, though :)

be blessed my readers!

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