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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

shut the eff up. please

i am really, really, REALLY getting sick of all of the negativity and bad news in the world today. and the fucking stupid people. seriously. if there's something that you don't like about your life, then do something about it. dont just sit there and bitch and complain and be all, 'woe is me'. i really dont care. i dont. i tried to care, i did care. BUT... YOU CAN CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE! dont just sit on your ass and complain.
you're s/o is cheating- leave them
you're being talked about- so stop running your mouth
you owe people money- stop borrowing
everyone's against you- no, they're not. stop thinking so negatively
i dont feel good- go to the doctor
i dont have insurance- look into medical assistance.
im above medical assistance- sucks to be you then
i applied and am waiting- so wait it out, and if you're denied appeal it
i dont like my hair color- dye it
im ugly- no youre not
im broke- well... were all broke. this economy sucks.

like... i dont know what to say anymore. people come to me bc i tell it like it is, then get mad when i tell them what they dont want to hear... so here's a solution- DONT COME TO ME AND ASK FOR ADVICE! yall know i run my mouth and speak the truth, i cant help it. easy way to keep me from giving u my opinion... dont ask for it.

and another thing, my goodness. ever look at an ex and say, wtf was i thinking? i TOTALLY had that the other day. i THOUGHT maybe, id be sad or feel something... but all i felt was disgust. haha. no seriously, like, my stomach turned and in my head it was like, really? i wanted THAT for my future? smh. and there are so many awful things i could say about him and how he treats people and what a fucking waste of life he is but... i wont stoop to that level, kinda why i dont mention names on here. but seriously... i never had a relationship that i would call a waste of time... but i think that one might have been. i always like to try to pull something good out of every bad experience... so let's see... good... goood... hmmm... i did get a new dress... haha. and... hmm... oh yeah. i realized i dont need anyone to make me happy bc i do a good enough job of that on my own. i dont need someone to take care of me. yeah, im sick. but i have my parents and my family and my REAL friends to help me out. i dont need to be lied to, and from now on im gonna KEEP my armor on and keep the walls up. what the hell was the point of taking them down for a guy? hell, the sex wasn't even good. which should have been a red flag... especially when i wouldnt let him touch me bc the thought of him even kissing me made me wanna throw up... but no. i chose to fight it, thinking maybe it was the cushings, and i really did care... nope. i was forcing myself to. which wasn't a good idea. and even breaking up... i cried a little but, got over it within a day or so. because now i DONT have to give up my dreams for some asshole who doesn't and never did, deserve me. i feel bad for the next girl he plays. hes on a mission to marry but... will fuck around behind her back, lie, emotionally and mentally abuse, and try and make her feel worthless to make himself feel better. that's another reason it didn't work, 1. im not worthless. 2. i have my own opinions 3. no one controls me. i dont know why he thought id let him. no honey, that's not how it works.
phew. that was alot. feels good to get it out. there's probably more but, hes not worth my time.

anyhoo... today's the first day of hanukkah. and i dont really know anything about it, so im gonna make it kinda like thanksgiving, and im super thankful for the awesome people in my life. and im especially thankful that Jenn and I are as close as we are again. the situation that brought us together absolutely sucks, but it's nice to have my girl back and to laugh so much and feel so completely NOT alone. no, she doesn't have cushings and she's not medically retarded... but it's weird. its like im back to OLD nicci, well, sort of. its fun. so yay :) and were totally going to be reaking havoc on cape may in a few weeks... holla!

ok, so this blog was supposed to be a bitch fest, and im done bitching :) have a great day!

meet me underneath the mistletoe <3

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