today marks the 1 year of my 2nd surgery, that glorious TSS- transphenoidal sinus surgery- that was supposed to fix it all...
it didnt.
my surgeon wasnt able to remove the whole thing. the first surgeon cut it funny and said he had gotten it all, when he didnt. the tumor then grew down into my sinus cavity and wrapped around my carotid artery. most tumors are circles, which make them easier to remove. but alas, surgeon 1 effed it up. surgeon 2 did all he could. he said he left part of it in, because if he had pulled on it wrong, i would have lost all facial movement. he said i had been through enough, a botched first surgery, losing sight in my right eye... so he left part of it in.
which meant that i was going to need radiation. lovely.
so today... is kind of a rough one for me. if i hadnt had already made plans with the wonderful, miss ivory... i would have spent the day in the dark, in bed, self-medicating myself and sleeping. while my dog slept in his little corner. i think he likes the days i dont feel up to doing anything because that means he has company.
but i pushed the sadness aside. i was really angry though. really really REALLY. like i was ready to throw things. break things. scream... and i did scream. i banged the cabinet doors a bit. took a shower and went shopping.
i may not have much money but... sales and retail therapy seem to do the trick.
and then i went to the movies and watched Mirror, Mirror... fantabulous movie! i recommend it to EVERYONE. lots of laughter. and we talked back to the movie, which is always fun. followed by a race to the bathroom and lunch at the olive garden.
today was much needed, and much overdue. and its nice spending time with my 'twin'. someone who i can not speak to for ages, and when we get together its like we were never apart. its nice to have family back. and we both thoroughly enjoy word vomit. and were both brutally honest, but were not mean about it. its kinda- this is how it is. take it or leave it, but we also have big hearts and care for people. seriously- i hope our friendship continues for ages and that we become as close as we once were. its nice spending time with someone that i dont want to punch in the face, and who genuinely care about me, my family, etc. and we care about her.
so... my anniversary started out shitty, but ended on a positive note.
i still hate cushings though.
hate it
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