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Monday, April 16, 2012

challenge day 16... i love my endo

*sigh* i do love my endo...

i had another meltdown today. in the car. it has just NOT been a good week/ days, anything! im sad. im angry. i feel like im breaking. i feel lost. confused... id like to see the silver lining.

and my endo confirmed what i have been saying all along- IM NOT HEALING! i should be looking and feeling a whole lot different than i really am. so he finally increased my ketocanazole, only by 200mg, but he wants to start slow with me because of all of my medical junk. so i appreciate that, especially because he knows im not patient. at all. i told him- if i dont need my adrenals, take em out. hell. take out my appendix, take out everything i dont need! he laughed and said no. removing my adrenals is going to be a last resort. :p

but whatever. if in 6 weeks im not how he wants, hes going to go at it more aggressively. thank god. im ready to START recovering.

oh, you thought i WAS recovering? haha. NOOOOOOOOOPE. im still undergoing oodles of treatment! and once the treatment WORKS, THEN i will be healing. until then... im not.

i cried in his office today. i dont think that's something he ever expected to see- since im always happy-go-lucky and all smiles when im in his office. not today. that AND i took an ativan to deal with life.

so mom took me for retail therapy.

and tomorrow is my EEG. im compltely exhausted, but im not allowed to sleep. at all. well, i am from midnight -4am bc i have to be drowsy. greeeeeeeat. i already warned my aunt that ill probably be bitchy. especially if this headache doesnt go away. and since its NOT going away, i have to call my neurologist and possibly need another shot. awesome.


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