day 22... its gettin hot in here... or is it me?

its definately me.
its always me.
haha

and i dont mean because i look so damn good either. its  maybe... 46 degrees outside. the windows are open. im wearing shorts and a t-shirt... and whoooooooooooosh hellooooooooo hot flash! my hair just curled because i sweat so bad!

its so gross. my face turns multiple shades of red. sometimes i dont sweat. i just get pink. then red. then pink. then normal. but holy cannoli batman! i cant take it anymore! some days its not so bad. some days i have none. and its great. and other days... they come on every hour or more. it sucks.

i keep a battery operated fan in my car so i dont freeze everyone out when were on long trips.

some people think im strange, but, whatever.

and i keep bottles of water on me, at all times. the people at the theatre let me bring them in now because they know me and know that i NEED water. i MUST stay hydrated or ill get sicker. thanks cushings. i guess thats kind of a bonus because then i dont have to buy water there ;)

cushings= menopause. no, not for everyone. only for some. i think its because our pituitarys are shot. and i think it depends on the type of cushings you have. whether it be the disease, the syndrome, cyclical, etc etc.

i feel bad for picking on my mom for what she was going through when she went through 'the change'. it is not a fun change, no no... aside from not getting my monthly visitor. i do love that. but ive been loving that since 2009... when it started getting really irregular. it used to make me so sick id miss school (high school AND college) one time it made me so sick i missed work at CYS and dbag had to call me out bc i couldnt stop puking. that was a wonderful day... but ya know, my gyno said, oh it's normal..  you're on birth control. IT WASNT FUCKING NORMAL. i dont know why no one ever wanted to listen to me.

and the boobs. i love my boobs. i do. but... it'd be nice if they were a little more... symmetrical? is that the word? itd be nice if they were more the same size. yes, i know. every girl has one a little bigger than the other... but a full cup size? really? ive got a DD and a DDD. awesome. we pointed that out to the drs too... but they just said it was normal. or the other one would grow. it wasnt always this bad. i used to be able to wear those camis with the shelf bras but... not now. that was before i got sick. before i got cushie and got fat. and dont tell me im not. no wait, yes. tell me im not. i just wont believe you lol.

hot damn. i need an ice pack.

and now theyre saying its going to snow tomorrow... im thinking shorts and a tank top!