challenge day 3... 'the revolution'

'you can easily lower your cortisol level by eating right, exercise and getting enough sleep'

gee thanks tv show 'the revolution'. why didn't i think about that before? of course! i must have been overeating those 2 salads a day, and the 3 yogurts a day... my 2 hour daily workouts must not have been enough! how silly of me... and my 7-8 hours of sleep a night... i guess i should have quit my job and slept 10-12 hours... right?

fucking morons. are you serious? yeah. i get it. for a NORMAL person, lowering cortisol is simple. but for me? not so much.

i asked a doctor about the hump on the back of my neck and do you know what she said? oh, you're just fat. you need plastic surgery.

PLASTIC SURGERY?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!?
so i listened. i tried to diet harder, worked out more... and NOTHING!!! i wasnt losing weight. i wasnt gaining weight... and then i gained a ton! how? i didnt eat more. i ate less. i didnt work out less, i worked out more.

dun dun dunnnnnnnn......... i have cushings disease! thanks for playing. seriously. no one wanted to listen to me about the headaches. no one wanted to listen about the brain fog and forgetfulness. no one wanted to hear me when i said i was eating healthy... no no. nicole... you're crazy. it's all in your head...

turns out? IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD! i had a pituitary tumor! duh nah nahhhhhh believe me now?!

of course, after i was FINALLY diagnosed and had my head hacked open, people started to believe me. cheese and rice. im glad i had to have emergency surgery and lose my sight for someone to finally listen to me.

cushings disease is a rare, life-threatening disease.... a silent killer.
it causes your body to produce 10xs or more of the body's natural steroid cortisol.
it causes weight gain. not just weight gain. it makes you FAT
your body will become disfigured
a moon face
disgusting stria
mood swings
depression
anxiety
ptsd
crying spells
early menopause
fatigue
pins and needles
losing feeling in body parts
feeling alone
scared
like you ARE crazy because no one listens
a hatred for yourself
a hatred for others
annoyance at the medical field.

and the worst one?

you dont like, and dont recognize the person you see in the mirror.